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Pre-Engagement Promise Ring: Symbol of Commitment or Passing Trend?

By Gary A.

Edited by Brian M.

Published Nov 14, 2021

Edited on Oct 15, 2024

Making a commitment doesn’t always mean it’s time for an engagement, and that’s where a promise ring comes in—a meaningful symbol of love and dedication that speaks to your journey together.

Navigate this guide:

  • Introduction
  • 6 Practical Tips for Buying a Diamond Engagement Ring and Examining Promise Rings 
  • The Concept and Significance
  • Promise Ring vs Engagement Ring
  • Styles and Designs
  • Budget and Cost Considerations
  • Etiquette and Presentation
  • Conclusion
  • 10 FAQs

Introduction

One thing that any couple will attest to is that relationships don’t follow a roadmap. Another is that commitment comes in many forms, and you can’t control at what point you decide you’re ready to make plans that will last you the rest of your lives together. 

One of the most meaningful ways to represent this side of love is by giving a promise ring to your partner, whether you are months or years away from planning a more official proposal.

Still, the what, when, and why of promise rings are not as well-known as they are for other pieces of life-altering jewelry, so here’s what you need to know.

Before we dive deeper into the specifics, here are some practical tips to help guide your decision-making process:

6 Practical Tips for Buying a Diamond Engagement Ring and Examining Promise Rings 

  • Tip 1: Understanding the 4 Cs of Diamonds Clarity, Cut, Color, Carat: Familiarize yourself with these four key attributes of diamonds. They determine the quality and value of the stone. Look for a balance that fits your preference and budget. 
  • Tip 2: Setting and Style Consideration Match Style with Lifestyle: Choose a setting that complements the wearer’s lifestyle. For an active lifestyle, consider a secure and low-profile setting. For more elegance, a high-set stone can be more striking. 
  • Tip 3: Metal Choice Matters Durability and Aesthetics: Select a metal that not only looks good but also offers durability. Platinum and gold are popular choices. Consider the wearer’s skin tone and any potential allergies. 
  • Tip 4: Inspect for Craftsmanship Quality of Construction: Examine the ring’s craftsmanship. Check for smooth and clean finishes, secure settings, and the overall symmetry of the design. Well-crafted rings last longer and showcase the diamond better. 
  • Tip 5: Consider Future Resizing Ease of Resizing: Think about the possibility of resizing the ring in the future. Some designs are easier to resize than others. This is particularly important for promise rings, as they may be a placeholder for an engagement ring later on. 
  • Tip 6: Symbolic Significance Beyond the Material Value: Remember, especially for promise rings, that the symbolic value holds as much significance as the material value. The design and stone should resonate with the promise or commitment being symbolized.

Now that you’ve got these practical tips, use Jeweler AI below to find the perfect engagement ring that suits your style and budget:

 pre-engagement promise ring

The Concept and Significance

Promise rings are not talked about anywhere near as much as engagement rings. They signify a different moment altogether – and one that will inevitably vary from one starry-eyed couple to the next. 

A promise ring is used as a symbol of love and commitment and, most importantly, a serious intention to one day propose to (and, of course, marry) your partner.

Unlike the engagement ring, the ‘promise’ of this ring is one made for the future, rather than the present.

The expectation is not that your partner will jump to planning the wedding or spreading the word among family and friends. In fact, the promise ring is regarded as a much more personal gift – and one that generates much less buzz than the actual proposal and engagement.

Promise Ring vs Engagement Ring

Promise rings are not intended to be anywhere near as big or eye-catching as engagement rings. Featuring precious gemstones like diamonds within these rings is very popular since they are so symbolically tied to commitment and romance, but we’d recommend sticking to the more subtle sizes and designs.

There’s no need for you to avoid any of the same basic (or not-so-basic) elements of the engagement ring and other bridal jewelry – after all, you’re not trying to actively downplay the significance of this ring.

That’s not to say there’s no place for a diamond in a promise ring – that symbolic permanence and strength of diamond is perfect for a piece of jewelry your partner will love and cherish forever. 

Styles and Designs

Nobody wants the promise ring to be confused with – or a rival to – a future engagement ring, but its significance needs to be reflected in a suitably beautiful and valuable piece of jewelry that will last the rest of your lives together.

The average carat weight for a diamond engagement ring in the US is around 1, so why not consider going for a smaller diamond for your promise ring – one that is a lot more subtle, but still offers the ultra-romantic, ultra-meaningful sparkle of diamond?

Remember that your partner will one day have an engagement ring to add to her collection, so you’ll want your choice of design to be versatile enough to complement that momentous piece of jewelry.

Consider a small, flush set diamond ring – something that will stack alongside her other jewelry – or a striking diamond cluster that will offer plenty of sparkle without being confused for an engagement ring.

Pay careful attention to your choice of metal. Gold and platinum both offer very different vibes, and you’ll want it to suit her existing jewelry collection – and, of course, the pieces she adds in the future.

Budget and Cost Considerations

There’s no specific limit. For a ring featuring a small diamond or cluster of melee diamonds, we’d recommend you budget around $1,000 – or more, if your vision is a little grander.

The good news is there is far less expectation surrounding the promise ring than there is the engagement ring – both in terms of the design and the cost.

Keep in mind that you’ll want this piece of jewelry to last for many decades to come. It marks a very important milestone and needs to be well-crafted from quality materials in order to do so.

For that, you’ll need an online seller that keeps to certain standards. At WillYou.com, we use a jewelery maker with over 130 years experience, ensuring that the finished piece is not only beautiful but quality as well. Plenty of other websites offer their own spin on the promise ring, but these come at a premium cost because of the fact that they offer a fast and convenient answer to the questions, ‘What exactly does an engagement ring look like?’

Our advice? Delve deeper into our website, check out our collection of diamonds, and you might just get an idea of what you want your own promise ring to be.

Etiquette and Presentation

For some, the promise ring represents a milestone early on in the relationship – something that follows relatively shortly after the first exchange of ‘I love you’. For others, the promise ring is a more definitive sign of commitment – and perhaps one that is used until the couple are financially stable enough to afford an engagement ring – and wedding.

For this reason, some couples will already be living together when the promise ring is given, while some couples will be much earlier on in their relationships. It may be that you want to finish your studies before getting engaged, make a down payment on your future family home, or further your career before you make such a big financial commitment.

Unlike an engagement ring or wedding ring, the promise ring is much more open to interpretation. Its meaning can be completed by the couple and doesn’t need to wait for a certain moment or milestone in the relationship.

Giving and Wearing Etiquette

There’s no right or wrong way, but general advice is to avoid the same ritual we reserve for a proposal.

In short: don’t get down on one knee – not unless you want to instantly put thoughts of wedding bells into her head.

The promise ring may hold similar connotations to the engagement ring, but you don’t want to let the two overlap, or you might risk taking a little of the significance out of both.

Treat it as a separate occasion and, as we mentioned above, consider making it more intimate, rather than a flashy affair with families, fireworks, photographers and, of course, the famous stance.

What Finger Should You Wear a Promise Ring on?

We’d recommend any finger except the left ring finger, or it will be confused for an engagement ring.

After getting engaged, some women choose to wear their promise ring on a chain around their neck instead – or simply keep it as a special piece of jewelry.

semi precious stone ring

Symbolism and Importance

A promise ring is pretty serious, but not in the same way that an engagement or wedding ring is.

There’s no skirting around the fact that many couples choose not to go down the promise ring route. For one thing, the fact that their meaning is open to interpretation means that some couples simply don’t get them. Many couples are also happy just to skip right ahead to the engagement. It’s all down to preference.

If you are planning on giving a promise ring, however, the important thing is to give it with intent. This has the potential to be a significant moment in your relationship, regardless of how many other couples partake in the tradition.

Conclusion

Giving a promise ring represents a beautiful, intimate gesture – a definitive promise and commitment that can tide a couple over until they are ready to get engaged, whether financially, or for any other reason. 

There are no rules or expectations when it comes to a promise ring. Choose something that your partner would love to wear, but don’t step on the toes of your future engagement ring. 

10 FAQs

  • Q: What is a Promise Ring? 
  • A: A promise ring symbolizes a commitment between two people. It often represents love, fidelity, or a future engagement.
  • Q: How is a Promise Ring Different from an Engagement Ring? 
  • A: A promise ring signifies a pledge to a relationship, while an engagement ring is a commitment to marry. Promise rings are usually less elaborate and less expensive.
  • Q: On Which Finger Should a Promise Ring Be Worn? 
  • A: It’s commonly worn on the ring finger of the right hand, but there’s no strict rule. Some wear it on the left hand if not engaged or married.
  • Q: How Much Should You Spend on a Promise Ring? 
  • A: The cost varies widely based on the materials and design. It’s more about the sentiment than the price. A typical range could be from $100 to $1000.
  • Q: Can Men Wear Promise Rings? 
  • A: Absolutely. Promise rings are gender-neutral and can be worn by anyone regardless of gender.
  • Q: Is It Okay to Buy a Promise Ring Online? 
  • A: Yes, purchasing a promise ring online is a convenient option. Just ensure you buy from a reputable seller and understand their return policy.
  • Q: How Do You Give Someone a Promise Ring? 
  • A: The presentation of a promise ring varies. It can be a surprise, a mutual decision, or given during a special occasion. The key is to convey the meaning behind it.
  • Q: Should a Promise Ring Match an Engagement Ring? 
  • A: Not necessarily. Some prefer coordinating them, but it’s a personal choice. The promise ring can have a unique style that differs from the eventual engagement ring.
  • Q: Can a Promise Ring Be Engraved?
  • A: Yes, engraving a promise ring adds a personal touch. Common engravings include names, dates, or meaningful phrases.
  • Q: Is It Necessary to Exchange Rings in a Promise Ceremony? 
  • A: No, exchanging rings is optional. The important aspect is the commitment being made, not the physical exchange of rings.

Discover your perfect promise ring with JewelerAI – where love meets precision and personalization.